I was appalled at the statements made by this ‘Doctor’ on her website about males and females diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. She demonises the sufferer and blames them for any violence perpetuated against them by saying “they drive their partners to the brink”; “they turn good men into monsters”.
This is bullying, whether one likes it or not. It brought me to tears to think people out there believe people like me, who have been through so much trauma and abuse, are the evil ones out there. I was at an all time low today after reading her articles.
My partner had stumbled across her ” 50 ways to break up with your BPD partner” article. My partner now feels as though he is the victim amongst all this and that I am a manipulative and selfish person. So now this gives him the right to lecture me and yell at me. I don’t know what to do or how to feel or even who I am anymore. he characterises me as my disorder not a girl with a disorder. The disorder is me.
Borderline Personality Journal 
…………………….*SCREAMS!!!!!!* I’m looking at this site and it is horrible! She is horrible! I’m so offended that this woman’s goal is to treat the trauma experienced by those with BPD loved ones! I know that I’m not the easiest to get along with and I know I have caused my past and current partners pain but WTF IS THIS!!!!!!!
I hope your partner can understand this woman is fucking idiot!
I’m going to have to blog about this tomorrow! Thank you for sharing!
(Excuse my lack of professionalism in the comment but my BPD rage is showing!)
Oh I had to contain myself!! I’m glad you’re enraged and please share about this woman. She is an absolute idiot! Isn’t it obvious from our reactions that this form of interacting with a borderline is not going to get a positive outcome! As for attachment and mutual trust, I believe borderlines’s are capable of those within safe environments. Speaking for myself I know I am.
Just mind blowing! I hate how she’s always saying “the borderline”! I have a damn name you know?! it really is a website that encourages people to treat us like garbage.
I couldn’t force myself to stay on the site any longer than 5 minutes, or to venture out further than the Q&A page out of fear that my head would implode with anger and disbelief. What an entirely unprofessional, invalidating fool. I can only imagine how much damage she leaves in her trail. Sickening!!
Well…. that was an experience. I’ve come across a few “professionals” online who take this view about BPD, and it just doesn’t even warrant a reaction, although of course it provokes one. It’s an unfortunate side-effect of the internet – people such as this woman have a platform for spouting their “opinions” as though they are facts. Has this woman conducted any actual research into BPD? Are her “articles” peer reviewed? Or is she just ranting about her own experiences with the disorder which came as a result of her inability fo address/help/understand her clients’ problems? Avoid, avoid, avoid. She, like others of her ilk, is a toxic addition to the world of BPD literature – a term used very lightly – that is available online. Stick with credible sources of information. I’m sorry your partner has sided with this woman’s ridiculous point of view. You should bombard them with real information.
thank you, It’s really hard to try and alter the perceptions she has highlighted because he feels an affinity with the ‘victims’ of BPD partners. I broke up with him over this because it affected me so deeply. I understand I can bee highly emotional and have rampant mood swings but I am NOT completely irrational and I have a voice all of my own that describes my personal experience with BPD. She counsels ppl with BPD apparently.
I don’t know about your relationship or your ex… and I don’t wish to be hurtful in my assumptions, but it might be that they were the thoughts he already had, and he feels vindicated because this woman has voiced them as fact. Ah-ha! I was RIGHT to think that you’re manipulate and rah rah rah! So, it sounds like maybe he wasn’t open-minded enough to really get to know you and to learn about the disorder and obviously that is shitty. I guess that’s the way some people are, you know? However, maybe I am completely wrong. As for the people she “treats”, I feel incredibly sorry for them…
Wow Kate, I think you may be right in that he already had these thoughts and now he feels vindicated. Thank you for your honesty. It opened my eyes.
(I’m sorry if my most recent reply was super obvious or something… I wasn’t trying to be condescending.)
no it wsnt at all!! thanks 🙂
I know even need to search for the article or the doctor as I know exactly what your talking about. I came across it on a google search at some point, and it really irritated me. Its misinformation like we see there that creates at all the stigma and medical boards and affiliations really need to step up and educate doctors because so few seem to understand or care, because we are so called too difficult, etc.
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Shari isn’t a doctor. She hold’s a Master of Arts in Counseling Psych.which in the psychiatric field is useless as far as obtaining employment. Her therapeutic approach is as ridiculous as her hair.
Hi there
To me she is the Evil Queen Bi**h of the Universe. I recently separated from my wife, and not long after we separated one of her “friends” sent her the link to this evil b***h’s article on BPD men. Result? My wife now thinks I’m BPD and NPD just because I happen to show a couple of similar traits from time to time. This of course has completely changed how she sees me, and everything I do is now viewed from this perspective. I’ve been tarred with the brush of BPD,and I feel my wife’s mind has been poisoned.
I felt physically ill when I read her crap.
This messed up, dysfunctional and embittered woman has a lot to answer for.
U can tell by the way u lash out at this article/women that u have problems of insecurity and /or accepting of ur little “problem”. I am a male with BPD and this article/women has taught me so much about myself and how knowing these harsh facts can help me to become a better person. Maybe if u had an open mind and saw that these facts are more helpful in understanding ur “problem” u would prob not need to go to therapist and if u need too then maybe u have more problems than just bpd…in short ur juss trying to deny that the allegations are not true and therefore are hurting yourself by not admitting u have a problem. Stop trying blame other people for ur problems and crying about how ur partner is looking at you all weird now after reading these facts. After all they are true about what ur problem is so dont deny it. Im not a monster and im comfortable knowing the truth about me even if its in harsh terms. Take it like a man
Just saying lol….
Ps. I have a girlfriend who knows i have BPS and we work around it everyday so maybe if ur partner sees u differently its cause u havent talked about it.
Miami, well done to you. I admire you for your honesty, high level of self awareness and for taking responsibility for yourself and this dreadful condition. Wish my husband of 24years (recently separated), would have had even half of the courage, decency and integrity that you have, in recognising, admitting to and attempting to deal with his emotional instability and our problems. Very big pat on the back to you. Well done Miami. It shows your emotional maturity and willingness to deal with and work with your issues and difficulties. Wishing you both all the very best of luck and happiness in the future.
It’s seems to be hard for you guys to acknowledge the truth! She’s right in everything she says. It’s refreshing to hear someone talking truthfully and openly about BPDs. Just grow up and face the facts like grown up people instead of childishly complaining (Oh me, the victim, bla, bla, bla…) about how “unjustly” the world treats you!
It seems that your ignorance assists you in placing yourself on a pedestal to spit shame and disgust on others that are struggling. The victim complex you state that is childish is interesting in that you are aggressive and destructive in your communication as she is. Why don’t you get a life, look in the mirror and spit your hate that way
I had a borderline boyfriend and he drove me insane. Even now I am trying to recuperate from all of the abuse he heaped on me, I can’t even eat food very well right now due to all the trauma I got from this guy. Some borderlines are quiet and passive, but the other types are very aggressive and dangerous. I know because I’ve been there. I am so scared of my ex that I have to pray to keep my sanity. It was THAT bad.
I’m really sorry that you had such a terrifying experience. Was he abusive? From all the Borderlines I know, none project that amount of trauma on others, they are simply struggling with their own trauma. Having said that, not everyone is the same. I wish you well